banyak bgt yg lg g pikirin... kayanya g emank lg bner2 pengen n butuh sendiri without interruption from anyone...
kalo mo jujur ama diri g sendiri... maybe bisa dibilank g lg disappointed abis x y ama dia... org yg i thought was my world bfore... org yg g kasih everything n even more... ternyata turned out to be d biggest loser ever... g ga tau how i can live with myself deh... biarpun dr dulu g always maintain jgn sampe g ngerasa nyesel ato benci ama dia... tp... kalo kaya bgini... its really hard not to... kayanya g udah rada berasa nyesel skg... gila y... g ga abis pikir... koq bisa y dulu g sampe sgitunya ma dia? g pikir... after everything that happened... dia udah nyadarin kesalahan2 dia... ternyata?? by just 2 messages from him g realise ternyata dia sama skali ga brubah... only he seems to kinda have some degree of sarcasm in his words... wtf... dia kayanya masih aja mikir dat lying solves everything... pdhl... jelas2 itu yg ngerusak smuanya... i thought... after smuanya yg g ma dia udah lewatin... d least we can do is stay friends... tp ternyata dia bner2 ngebuktiin kalo emank dia tuh bner2 ga pantes even buat cuma jadi tmen g... which leaves me regretting ever being with him at all.... how did i... how could i... get that far into those moments of hell... tanpa nyadarin sebrapa ga pantesnya dia... ato maybe g dulu ga mo ngakuin itu... krn smuanya udah terlanjur... sampe akhirnya g kaya bgitu dulu.... krn g ga ikutin insting g sendiri.... some call it women's intuition... drtd i keep on having flashes of my old memories... d choking.. d cuts.. d pain.. d procedure.. d insanity.. d screaming.. all those tears.. i was on d edge of free falling into d latter of sanity... i won't... i just won't go there anymore... i would rather spend all my life alone than go to that place again... whenever i close my eyes... i could see them... those moments i loathe... but still... i have to move on... time won't wait for me... no matter how haunting those memories are... i just have to live with it... until one day...if ever... it will all go away... i could only hope... that whatever happened before will not come n crush my life in d future...