hot n bothered

what is this pain im feeling...?
why do tears keep streaming down...?
have he really changed...?
i wonder where is the old him who soothes me when im sad n crying...
he who believes in me... trusts me... open to me about anything...
what is it that he don't understand... that when i criticize him it's not meant to attack him...
how can i make him understand that he's not the only one trying to make us work...
why do i feel like the more i give in n change for him n leave my selfish ways, the more he seems to push his way with me...?
i feel so scared... i kept thinking... if this much have changed in just 6 months... then what will come next?
will the love of my life turn into everything that i feared...?
he don't even say he miss me back...or that he loves me...
am i just in his way now...
how can i tell him n make him understand everything that i'm feeling when he gets offended with every little thing i say...?
no, i don't want him to not criticize me when i'm wrong...i just don't want him to diss my efforts n use his expectations of me to put me down just like that... i thought he understood me... he used to understand me... what have i done wrong...?
it all just reminds me too much of my mum n dad...
why can't they just understand that what i do is because i love them... that its with good intentions... that its to prevent bad things from happening as much as i can... why do they look at me as if i'm an enemy trying to harm them n get offended...?
should i just bullshit them with sweet talks n suddenly crush them like any other ppl?
why when i do things while thinking of them, they don't appreciate me?
n instead... when other ppl just be selfish n do things only for their benefits they go along happpily?
where is the sense in that?
they say silence is golden... but nowadays... i guess silence just gets u into trouble n accusations...
tell me sayank... have i thought wrong... cuz i so wish i'm wrong... so please do correct me if i've made mistakes in my analysis n way of thinking about this...