oh baby why would u hurt me so long...hurt me so long...
baby why would u hurt me so long... pls let me know...

koq dia tega y nyuekin g kaya gini.... n why do i have to be such a loser n be so sad? haiz...

don't say u love me...u dont even know me...if u really want me then give me sometime...don't go there baby...not before im ready...don't say ur heart say it in a hurry...it's not like we're gonna get married...gimme gimme some time...

really what a bunch of bull crap... "i love u"s r rellie overrated. bullshit bgt dah. bilank cinta bilank sayank bilank care?? dr segi mana tuh? peduli jg kaga. boro2.

uda cape2 beli wine... eh ga ada cork openernya. sialan emank. apes deh bner2. si brondong geblek lg datenk2 nodong assg. males aja de musti ngambil keatas lg. ogah lah ya. hahaha.

emank co tuh ga ada yg pantes dibela2ain. kalo uda dibela2in aja lsg ngelunjak deh. emank co ga bisa dipercaya. ga bisa di lean on.
tp so far.... G bner2 still proven d best d... ampe kaget g dia bneran bliin g ipod...n bkn cuma itu doank sih... he's just always been there whenever i need him.... dia jg gy slalu ngehibur g pas g lg sedih... haiz... funny how life plays with ppl y....ppl dah i love...dat i care about... dun rellie care....they say they love me tp dr kelakuannya aja udah lebih dr cukup buat ngebuktiin d shallowness of their words... meanwhile.... ppl who really do care for me... yg bener2 bisa ngebela2in g... i don't love... n kadank g jg ga gt peduliin prasaan mreka....knp y....

apa emank org tuh ga akan pernah bisa puas ma apa yg mreka punya n dapet y.... apa krn itu makanya when they think they've got me... they get bored n jaded... not so challenging anymore... not so fun after all.... meanwhile kalo ga bisa dpet2 g maybe pnasaran....nganggep challange.... its a theory....

cape deh....playing this kinda games.... im not a good game player... dun have dat much stamina.... i prefer sumthin more laid back... sumthin yg g bisa count on....sumthin yg g ga perlu play games.... haiz..... n i know how i am.... biarpun g get lonely get sad.... tp kalo tuh co ga treat me rite.... no matter how much i love him i cant be with him....my ego wont take it.... n i know g deserve more than that.... buta apa g stay ama org yg treat g less than great n wonderful..... cuma sekedar kata2 ga cukup buat g.... kalo cuma kata2 smua org jg bisa bilank.... actions speak more truth than any words....

i hate to let go....everytime it hurts me..... apalagi kalo g bner2 suka....or even love...

sayank....stop proving urself to be unworthy of me.... i dont wanna have to let u go.... i'd hate to do that.... but when d breaking point comes.... i'd have no choice....i gotta do wat i have to do...

aku ga minta banyak...aku cuma minta km sayangin n love aku... when someone truly feels dat.... tanpa perlu kelakuan yg berlebihan ato dibikin2 jg udah bakal keliatan... i can feel it.... jadi ga perlu repot2 mikir gmana nunjukin....if u really love me....it'll show....

n this...leads me to think.... maybe then u don't love me after all....?

*life in mono playin...kinda suits my mood...*

i suddenly feel so sad... kayanya g ngerasa bae ama org n ngebelain org laen mati2an tuh ga ada gunanya... toh kaya orgnya peduli gt? palagi sekia2 gt.... susahlah namanya sekia. nyapein. g ga bakal lagi deh bela2in sekia2 tai yg bisanya ngebackstab org. n for those stupid ppl who r taken in its ur fuckin loss.

moral of d story:
stop tryin to b a gud person or sum kinda hero, just do wat everybody else does. be a hypocrite. nobody cares anyway. they're too busy caring bout themselves.

kayanya emank bener2 ga ada org yg bisa dipercaya y.... co tmenan n bae bgt ama g? ada maunya. tmen2 ce? bisanya ngegosipin diblakang doank. banci? even worse. tai lah. emank ga ada org yg bisa dipercaya... this world is too far from ideal... n it always hurt to realise dat...

i just wanna get away from d world.... go someplace quiet n peaceful... n just stay there....

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life
I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly

- Dido, I'm No Angel -

banyak bgt yg lg g pikirin... kayanya g emank lg bner2 pengen n butuh sendiri without interruption from anyone...
kalo mo jujur ama diri g sendiri... maybe bisa dibilank g lg disappointed abis x y ama dia... org yg i thought was my world bfore... org yg g kasih everything n even more... ternyata turned out to be d biggest loser ever... g ga tau how i can live with myself deh... biarpun dr dulu g always maintain jgn sampe g ngerasa nyesel ato benci ama dia... tp... kalo kaya bgini... its really hard not to... kayanya g udah rada berasa nyesel skg... gila y... g ga abis pikir... koq bisa y dulu g sampe sgitunya ma dia? g pikir... after everything that happened... dia udah nyadarin kesalahan2 dia... ternyata?? by just 2 messages from him g realise ternyata dia sama skali ga brubah... only he seems to kinda have some degree of sarcasm in his words... wtf... dia kayanya masih aja mikir dat lying solves everything... pdhl... jelas2 itu yg ngerusak smuanya... i thought... after smuanya yg g ma dia udah lewatin... d least we can do is stay friends... tp ternyata dia bner2 ngebuktiin kalo emank dia tuh bner2 ga pantes even buat cuma jadi tmen g... which leaves me regretting ever being with him at all.... how did i... how could i... get that far into those moments of hell... tanpa nyadarin sebrapa ga pantesnya dia... ato maybe g dulu ga mo ngakuin itu... krn smuanya udah terlanjur... sampe akhirnya g kaya bgitu dulu.... krn g ga ikutin insting g sendiri.... some call it women's intuition... drtd i keep on having flashes of my old memories... d choking.. d cuts.. d pain.. d procedure.. d insanity.. d screaming.. all those tears.. i was on d edge of free falling into d latter of sanity... i won't... i just won't go there anymore... i would rather spend all my life alone than go to that place again... whenever i close my eyes... i could see them... those moments i loathe... but still... i have to move on... time won't wait for me... no matter how haunting those memories are... i just have to live with it... until one day...if ever... it will all go away... i could only hope... that whatever happened before will not come n crush my life in d future...

I had the weirdest dream ever....

i dun usually dream when i sleep... been a long time since i dream about sumthin n actually remember it when i woke up... n aneh abissss... g mimpi g lg tiduran sama apho g di ranjank g.... trus.... diranjank seblah yg bawah gt... si melon lg tiduran diranjank bawah... trus... ngomonk2 apa gt... n then sumhow.... dia came up n then kissed me!!!???? i never even really hang out wif him!!!!!!!! n i dont even like him as a friend!!!!!!! omg... of all ppl.... dia???? ga bgttttttttttttttttt!!!! koq bisa2nya sih y g mimpiin dia bgitu duh ampun deh.... trus bis itu apho g bgn ke wc.... then.... tuh anak ilank ga tau kmana.... aneh deh tuh mimpinya asli deh bner2 aneehhhh bgtttt!